Oct 5, 2018

Dear J,

I am not sure what is up with me lately. I am struggling.

I have always been an upbeat, joyful person. But that all seems to have changed in the last three years.

I dont like this person i have become. I look in the mirror and i do not recognize the person staring back at me.

It is like the rug has been yanked out from underneath. I am no longer able to be in management at work because of my health issues. I have gone down to 12-15 hours of work with one day in the office every other week. My office is no longer my office. I volunteered it for a new employee because it made more sense for her to have it. The idea was that we would share the office, but she has totally rearranged it and put away most of my personal stuff.

I know that I am blessed in so many ways. I am still getting paid my full salary and have full benefits even though i am working part time. So i should be completely grateful and I am, I really am!

But i am so lost. Not sure what my role/purpose is at work, at home, or in my relationships.

My prayer is that I will be joyful again. That i will find pleasure in the mundane simple things in life. That each day I will thank You, Lord for all the blessings in my life. And that I will stop focusing on what’s been taken away and look for what has been given instead!